


The One That Got Away

by Sinderella22



Category: ikon
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Eventual Happy Ending, Exes, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Friends, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinderella22/pseuds/Sinderella22
Summary: They fell inlove.That's enough.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Hanbin | B.I, Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	The One That Got Away

I’ve woken up alone in bed as the cold covers touch my skin. I reach out further to my right but there is certainly nothing warm and lean and soft occupying the empty space. I groaned inwardly thinking that I overslept yet again.  


I want to wake up seeing him cuddled in my arms snoring like a baby with his pouty lips and pink cheeks. I want to wake up feeling his was body snuggled under my chin while his arms are hugging me possessively. I want to be the first one to say “good morning” to him and hearing him greet me too with his cute little smile and then I’d kiss him lightly no matter how our breath smells like.  


But Hanbin has always been an early riser that in the passed eight months of our relationship, I’ve never beaten him to wake up first. Every time I’ll open my eyes, I could already hear him softly humming some music and the drizzling of hot oil signifying that someone is cooking. Most days it’s the smell of bacon, toast and omelet but other days it would smell like fried fish or meat or chicken.  
Today however it doesn’t smell anything.  
Nor I can hear his soft hums.  
Nor the sound of an alive kitchen.  
The room is silent and only smells just like the two of us.  


No bacon.  


No toast.  


No chicken.  


I abruptly get up and head out of our room. Going first to the kitchen, I only saw a used mug on sink. The knives are still on the rack, the chopping board unmoved nor the oven is being pre-heat. Realizing that he isn’t here, I headed to the living room to see no one too. Did he went out so early?  


Thinking that he may have left a message or so to my phone, I went back inside our room to get it. Then I saw this white folded paper on top of our bedside table just beside where my phone is. It has a “Jiwon” written on the outside. Is this a letter? Why is he writing me a letter when he will be just buying some groceries outside? But, I think our pantry’s still full since we just had our groceries two days ago.  


What is this Kim Hanbin?  


Opening the folded paper, I felt fear rush to me seeing it was a long ass letter. Not just a simple note of “baby, going out gonna buy milk”.  
It’s a letter!  


And people who leave letter to someone they are in relationship with, that are still asleep, has always been a bad sign. Nothing good ever comes from this type of scenarios.  


Nothing good. 

Jiwon,  
I don’t know where to start with this. Perhaps maybe with “I’m sorry” then with a “Thank you”.  
We’ve been together for the passed eight months and everyday are always fulfilling and joyous. You made me feel special and love and contented despite it’s not even a year that we’ve been boyfriends. The time is too short but it seems like I’ve known everything about you. From your desires and dreams down to why you’re such a late-riser to even why you like painting your pinky fingers yellow. Eight months are too short but you showed me who you are and made me feel the love I think I’d never have. A love I think I will never deserve.  


Maybe until you know everything about me too.  


You see Jiwon, I’ve been inlove once towards someone else. And if I would be honest to myself, I am still. But what I feel towards you is real too. And sometimes it breaks me silently inside. That’s why I have to leave to settle something not only for myself but for the both of us too. That is, if you still want me back after reading all of this. Or if you don’t want me back, I might feel a little less burdened knowing I have told you everything. I know it sounds unfair and hurtful but a huge part of me, the selfish part, hopes that despite what you will know about me, you would still want me back.  


His name is June.  


He was my classmate during senior year. He was from Busan but his father’s job was relocated in Seoul so his entire family has to move. That’s when we met since he was assigned to seat beside me. We became friends thereafter.  


Then my whole life started to revolve around June. He was kind, caring, understanding and loving. He likes to sing, a LOT and plays the guitar too. He makes songs and made me the first one to ever listen to it. That’s why little by little, I fall for him. Secretly. June is my bestfriend and I am too afraid if he will find out that his boy bestfriend is having deeper feelings for him. So for the passed two years, I made sure that my love is tucked, hidden away from anyone, especially June. Despite I became jealous to the girls even guys that swarm over him, I just close my eyes and bleed in silence because I will never risk it. I can’t afford if he ever finds out and then leave me. I’d settle for being a bestfriend only if that means I can keep him forever.  


But then on the night of our graduation, June kissed me. He confessed his affection to me and told me that he had risk everything just for me to know what he truly feels. He even asked me to not hate him because he didn’t plan to fall in love with me. It just happened. How could I even hate him when I am truly, irrevocably, madly inlove with him? So when he finished his little cries, I kissed him back and told him I love him too.  


College happened. We enrolled in the same uni. He took up Literature while I studied Business Management. We lived together. Done the act, often. Despite our busy schedules, we always had time for each other. Our love was burning and no school activities even thesis could ever cool it off. We were so inlove.  


Then we graduated and landed on good jobs. He became a university professor while I am in the corporate world. We have grown old and became even busier but nothing has change with our love. We always kiss each other good night. Wake up together, even bath together. It’s as if we were still in our first year, the honeymoon stage phase, our love is still burning.  


But the university where he was teaching found out about our relationship. They made him choose between me and his career. June would choose me anytime of the day but I told him, no. He loves what he does as much as he loves me too and I don’t want to be the reason that he will give up his dreams for himself just to be with me. I don’t want to be the only hurdle he can’t skip and then separates him from his goal. I can’t let anyone, especially June, give up his life just to be with me.  


We made it seems like we called things off. He kept his job and I still am working in the company. We don’t share the same house anymore but we were still seeing each other from time to time. I was okay with it. I was thinking that a few more years, when we have both fulfilled our individual dreams, we could always pick up from where we left. I was ready to sacrifice a few years just so June and I could have our happy ending. Maybe that time, the world won’t be cruel anymore and accept that our love is not wrong. Perhaps by then, both of us could freely shout to everyone how beautiful our love is. I am thinking, one day everyone will agree that June and I are meant to be together and a few years wont be that long.  


But it is.  


I was wrong.  
In the next succeeding months, our every nighttime calls gradually becomes every weekend. Our daily good mornings becomes just on Mondays. We have not seen each other regularly like what we initially planned. When we will have a call, it became too bland with “how are you” “how’s your week” and “take care”. The “I love you” we share with burning passion then becomes a flickering light. It felt that instead of cheering each other. We had been weighing down each other instead. We don’t fight or brought up any misunderstanding but everything was so out of its place already. Our suppose bluff of having our relationship ended suddenly became a reality that bites us slowly but constantly.  


When I first met you at the business meeting, I was a walking chaos. Both my mind and my heart are unsettled. I never had any intentions of talking back to you but your annoying ass keeps on pestering me. I looked at you and I thought you will be a good distraction.  


So I get myself distracted.  
But two days ago, I heard from our college classmate that June is getting married today. That’s why I had waken up early to go see it. I won’t crash it, I swear. I just have to see it for myself. I want to see him happy. I want to see him and ask myself if I am still inlove with him or this is just my “what-ifs” and “could-have-been” that’s been filling up. I want to know if it’s still him that occupies my being and if I have to end up alone all my life. I have to know this for myself because I don’t want that I end up fooling you all of your life. You deserve better, Jiwon. Not some hang-up broken soul who might still be trap in a past love.  


If I can’t come home today please send my thing to------

The fuck!  


What the fuck Kim Hanbin?!  


Is he for real?  


He will leave this nasty paper telling me about his past love like some lovesick puppy and also plans to see his ex-lover and tells me just to send his stuff to a fucking address?! The fuck is he thinking? The hell I will let him to!  


I dialed Dong’s number and ask him to search the entire Seoul of some bastard who’s named June that is getting married. Dong cursed at me. He told me that he isn’t in Interpol to be my personal search bar. I yelled at him telling him that it’s a matter of life or death and since I am the older brother, he followed me but of course yelling about all the laws he has to break and protocols he had disobeyed. I told him I don’t care.  


So here I am, in front of some christian church in Gochek, leaning on my white Audi and waiting for his shadow to finally appear. The wedding is halfway through already and soon enough the bride and groom will seal their marriage with a kiss. I was curious at first too, to know who this June is and what does he looks like. I was curios to see what kind of man has ever pinned Hanbin like that and what kind of stupid he is to let go of him. But thinking about it, I called it not worthy of my precious time. For now, my main goal is to find Bin and knock some sense off his head. Also to ask him to be with me nomatter what. It may become hurting for me knowing that the person I am willing to give all my love and life is trap in the past love and can’t get out. But I know I’ll end up destroying all the locks anyways so why would I give up on him? Despite it’s painful and might kill me inside. Why would I give up on him when he is everything for me? Besides, I already have an eight-months head start. It’s not like I have nothing. Hanbin’s moans everytime we are having sex is still something. Speaking of which, where the hell is he---  


“Jiwon?”  


I suddenly feel so nervous as I decided to look back at him. The last time I was this nervous was when I talked to tell him that I have decided to be a doctor than enter the police. He scolded me and didn’t talked to me until I passed my med school. He shrugged off all the years of misunderstanding by telling me that when he get’s sick, he has to be in a vip room. As if the Secretary of Defense of the South Korea doesn’t have that privilege.  


Hanbin is in his plain white long sleeve polo, a khaki shorts, and black vans and is holding a gallon chocolate ice cream. What the hell will he do with this too much sweet?  


“That’s a lot of ice cream you have there.”  
He looked down to his ice cream and then to his toes and timidly raise up his head, his eyes uncertain and teary.  


Please don’t break up with me.  
“It’s because I ran away.”  


Hanbin is 177 cm tall. A centimeter lower than I am but when he talks like this, with his uncertain self, he looks so small and fragile and oh, all I want is to keep him in my inside pocket tucked away from all the pains of this world.  


“I always bring ice cream back when I run away.”  


I barely noticed that I was holding my breath not until a gasp escaped my mouth. Hanbin looks at me with worry. It seems like he wants to rush to me too but he was hesitating. I feel my cheeks heating up and my eyes barely holding up the tears wanting to escape. My heart is beating loudly too and I felt dizzy.  


“I… I want to hug you so tight right now b… but it seems like I am glued in here. Can you please… please come here. To me.”  


I look at his eyes and they’re both teary too. The hesitation is still there but I can see him smiling a little. And for what it seems like an eternity, my tears fall down when Hanbin took a step forward. To me.


End file.
